Saturday, December 5, 2009

Dems Call GOP on Double-Dog-Dare: " We'll Sign Up for Public Option!"

Well, we all know the GOP has become a parody of itself as of late: there was the Teabaggers vs. Tea Partiers debate, the Palin-ites boo her after she "quits" a book signing early deal, the Republican health insurance plan covering abortion since 1991, and the general circular firing squad they've been reenacting over and over in recent days. Nothing new, right?

So, the Rethuglican leadership is meeting in their super-secret hideout (all right, maybe not, but you know they want one...). Drinking their faces off are good ol' boys Coburn and Vitter, and they come up with the genius idea of adding yet another amendment to the 2500+ already in the Senate health care bill. Let's listen in:

"Vitter, listen, let's really mess with the Democrats this time. Let's write an amendment that requires Members of Congress to sign themselves up for this Public Option business if the bill passes! Let's Double-Dog-Dare 'em!"

"Coburn, Dude, that would totally rock! I'm am so down with that. But, um, what if it actually passes? That'd mean we'd have to sign up for it, too, right? And my momma didn't raise no socialist, man."

"You moron, Vitter! How many times do I have to tell you? It 'aint gonna pass, Brother, it can't possibly pass! Those chicken-shit Democrats'll read this amendment and go runnin' for the hills!"

Cue Senators Brown and Franken. First, let's hear from our old friend and man of the people, Sherrod Brown:

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And now, let's eavesdrop on a conversation that Sherrod had with The Distinguished Gentleman from Minnesota, Senator Franken:



Beautiful! Abso-friggin-lutely beautiful! "We are in, Gentlemen! And as a matter of fact, we'd love to co-sponsor the bill! How 'bout them apples???" We couldn't have written such a great double-dog-dare if we'd tried! The real question is how can Sherrod and Al keep from laughing their asses off at TweedleDumb and TweedleDumber and their evil plan. Obviously, Brown and Franken are better actors than I could ever dream of being...

See, what the Grand Obstructionist Party didn't count on was that we Dems actually believe in what we're proposing. We actually believe it is a moral imperative for all Americans to have health care, and we want to build a plan that won't leave anyone to die because they have no insurance. We actually want to make reform happen that will cut costs and trim the fat that so generously feeds the health care industry, which, in turn, fills the pockets and campaign coffers of the GOP and the Conservadems. Yes, They had forgotten the core difference between the Republican Party and Democratic Party. As Little Man put it recently, "They believe in making the rich richer and the poor poorer. Democrats believe in making people's lives better. So, I'm a Democrat...Duh!" Couldn't have said it better myself. Gotta love that boy.

To the GOP, allow us to say that we will take your Double-Dog-Dare. And we Black-Double-Dog-Dare you to join us and sign your own families up for the Public Option. Yeah, Coburn and Vitter, it kinda changes your perspective on the whole issue, doesn't it???